Mike Johnson’s Humiliating Pilgrimage

As I write this, Republican Speaker of the House Mike Johnson has to be enduring one of the most frustrating and humiliating experiences of his life. The man who is third in the line of succession for the most powerful position in the political world has to bow his head, kiss the golden statue and beg an insane former President to allow him to pass a funding bill that would provide aid to our allies in Ukraine.

Think about that for a second.

The only thing standing in the way of Russian pseudo-president Vladimir Putin pushing through Ukraine and then, presumably, Poland and beyond is a failed reality TV host who spends most days lining up attorneys to defend the ever-growing number of crimes he’s committed.

It would be hard to characterize this in a way that’s any crazier than the simple statement of fact, but let’s be clear; leaders of both political parties really do understand the threat represented by the Ukraine invasion. They really do. The MAGA 20 in the House surely don’t, as they regularly demonstrate a lack of understand of the basic foundation of Democracy, but there are, after all, only 20 of them. Democratic leader Hakeem Jeffries has made it clear that they stand ready to provide the votes needed to pass Ukraine aid, but working across the aisle is now political suicide for Republicans. Just ask former Speaker Kevin McCarthy. He fell all over himself to ingratiate himself to the former President, but was dismissed nonetheless when he refused to allow the US to default on its loans. Doing otherwise would, of course, have effectively collapsed the entire American economy.

There is already a standing threat from Neanderthal hangover Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-AL) to oust Johnson if he passes a bi-partisan funding bill. McCarthy felt it was important enough to vacate the seat over; I’m not sure Johnson has the stones for that. Maybe he can get his balls out of its top secret file box at Mara Lago, but that seems doubtful. Everything there is property of the orange guy, even things he has stolen, at least in what’s left of his mind.

Meanwhile, the Republicans have been quite busy writing legislation that they hope to pass next week. Here’s a quick look at the highlights:

H.R. 6192 – Hands Off Our Home Appliances Act
H.R. 7673 – Liberty in Laundry Act
H.R. 7645 – Clothes Dryers Reliability Act
H.R. 7637 – Refrigerator Freedom Act
H.R. 7626 – Affordable Air Conditioning Act
H.R. 7700 – Stop Unaffordable Dishwasher Standards Act

I’ll let you read the particulars on your own, should you choose to, they are even crazier than the titles sound. Republicans want corporations to be able to cut corners in the name of profits at every opportunity and these proposals reflect that mentality. They also want clothes dryers to be more reliable and more affordable and those two things are in direct opposition to each other. They appear to have convinced themselves (or maybe FAUX News convinced them) that Joe Biden is going to personally show up at your door to remove gas appliances, but even FAUX gave up on that fairy tale after a couple of news cycles. It’s preposterous! 

Remember when President Obama was going to convert the nation to Islam? How about that day he came to your door to personally remove and and all guns? Oh, you don’t remember that? Huh. Well, don’t hold your breath waiting for President Biden to confiscate your gas stove, either. I wish they would come get mine, as my solar panels make an electric stove much more economical and environmentally sustainable, but I digress.

I don’t imagine that the orange guy is going to give Johnson permission to fund Ukraine aid, any more than he allowed Republicans to pass the bill they wrote and Democrats pledged to help pass to address the southern border. He would rather have it as an issue to blame his opponent for in his delusional late-night stupor social media posts. 

We can only hope that at least 51% of voters in the nine or so districts that determine national elections in this country can see through the smoke. 

-B